Psalm 13

How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I wrestle with my thoughts

and every day have sorrow in my heart?

How long will my enemy triumph over me?

Look on me and answer, O LORD my God.

Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;

my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"

and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

But I trust in your unfailing love;

my heart rejoices in your salvation.

I will sing to the LORD, for he has been good to me.

In the last several weeks, I've had a lot of "wilderness moments," and I'm not very proud of it.

What I am referring to are all those times that the Hebrew children doubted God in the wilderness, even though He had proved Himself to them over and over again. When reading through Exodus, I always think, "How could they possibly doubt God? They had seen his miracles!"

But I do the same thing all the time. I can't even name all of the times I have seen God work in mighty ways, and yet after just 9 weeks of trials I was ready to give up on Him. That's pretty pathetic.

But thankfully, God didn't give up on me-- or ZuZu.

ZuZu had her appointment at the Children's Hospital this morning, and to sum it all up, I would say it went better "than we could ever ask or imagine." (Ephesians 3:20)

As we were pulling in the parking deck, it all hit really hit me. We were taking our daughter to a Children's Hospital. That is where really sick children go. The pediatricians were alarmed enough to send her to a Children's Hospital.

And it hit me that life may never be the same again-- that every day, parents go there with their children, hoping for good news. But that doesn't always happen. Not everyone can get good news. Some parents receive news that will alter their lives forever.

There's so much I could say, but 1) you are probably not interested in all of the details, and 2) I am too tired to think at this point. But the bottom line is that because ZuZu is gaining weight and developing so well, the pediatric GI was only concerned with the blood that has been in ZuZu's stool-- NOT with all of the other symptoms.

He called her weight gain "healthy." I told him we call it "fat." :)

He also called her "gorgeous." And to that I agreed. :)

Basically, she either has 1) a milk protein allergy, or 2) an immature digestive system that is not yet adequately handling the natural bacteria in her digestive system (which makes sense with the weird cell activity they saw in the mucus).

The plan is for me to stay off of dairy (but eat other foods! yay!) for the next few weeks, then reintroduce dairy. If the bleeding starts again, we will need to go back. But if the bleeding doesn't return, we don't even need to go back for a follow-up!

We are SO THANKFUL for God's provision this week. First for taking care of our insurance issues, then for the encouragement from the specialist. I mean, if a pediatric GI isn't concerned about the mucus, I guess I should stop crying about it. :)

I can't thank you enough for all of your prayers. It has been such an encouragement!

ZuZu was, once again, an absolute angel through it all:

(And by the way-- Gorsch family-- I may forever be a Hawkeye fan! :) )