Our little miracle

I’ve been asked several times how ZuZu is doing—the short answer is GREAT. She’s a little miracle. But for future reference, I’d like to record some of my thoughts as I look back on the last 7.5 months.

We should have known when I was 21 weeks pregnant and already having contractions that this little baby was going to be HIGH MAINTENANCE! But we made it just past 37 weeks—she was born almost 3 weeks early and still weighed 8 pounds, 7 ounces. Then the whole blood sugar/feeding tube ordeal followed. I remember thinking they would never let us leave the hospital. I wish I could have been present when Kurt had a “discussion” with my nurse about taking us home…


(ZuZu in the hospital)

The first couple weeks after that were ideal—ZuZu slept for hours at a time, she would let us put her down awake, and she was generally very content.

Then March 21 hit. She was just 2 weeks old. So tiny. For the next 7 weeks, we battled diarrhea, mucus and blood in her stool, green stool, foamy stool, and projectile vomiting. I can still picture her writhing and moaning in pain. It was one of the worst things I have ever gone through in my life. So helpless—both of us. She was so, so sick.

All the lactation consultants I talked to acted like it was normal and that I just needed to eliminate dairy. I did—and soy, wheat, nuts, beef, and so much more. Nothing helped.

The pediatricians, on the other hand, were concerned. While ZuZu’s pediatrician thought it was related to dairy, another pediatrician inspected the mucus and found some strange cell activity. He wanted her to see a specialist at the Children’s Hospital.

At that point (9 weeks old), they told me I MUST give her special formula. I did—for one week. It was TORTURE. For both ZuZu and me. After that week, I went into the ped’s office ready to battle for breastfeeding—but God had gone in before me and already changed the doctor’s mind on that matter. It was one of many miracles.

It was right about that time that ZuZu smiled for the first time ever. Looking back, I am glad that I didn’t realize how old she was to not have smiled yet. I would have been even more panicked. She was such a little angel during everything. She felt miserable, but she never fussed or complained. K would say it was because she had never felt well—so she didn’t know that she didn’t feel well. Totally heartbreaking.


(first smile!)

At approximately 12 weeks, we got in to see the specialist at the Children’s Hospital. I recorded my feelings on that visit here. Suffice it to say that I don’t think there is anything scarier than pulling into a Children’s Hospital and not knowing what was going to happen.

Her doctor there is AMAZING. Because she was no longer having any blood and was gaining weight, he told me to eat dairy, etc., and not to worry about her. Easier said than done… she continued to pass nothing but green mucus as “stool.” We’ve had a few conversations since then with the Hospital, but they have never grown concerned.


(waiting for the doctor)

So we learned to live with it. As she grew, she was in less pain. She was happy and mobile and learning and growing. And an absolute sweetheart. She just exudes sweetness. As one of my colleagues said, sometimes hardships breed the sweetest characters. It’s definitely true in ZuZu’s case. I’ve joked with K that if there was ever a baby to challenge the Biblical concept of our innate sinful nature, it is ZuZu!

And then ZuZu hit 6 months. One day she was still passing nasty mucus in her stool. The next day she had normal stool. And she never turned back. It was nothing less than a MIRACLE. It truly was. It still amazes me.

Thank you, God, for my little miracle baby!


(first bath in the big tub)